great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
