How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
