brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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