So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
