i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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