i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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