you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
