the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
