He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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