So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
