i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
