And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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