that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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