do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Me too!
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Randomize
