Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
