Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize