i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
