u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize