Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Pants are for mortals
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
