dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Randomize
