then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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