wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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