I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
