I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
