I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I have tasted many bathrooms
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Randomize
