She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Fuck appropriateness.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
