Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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