he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
