this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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