How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
the day after is always just damage control
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
