I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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