Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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