I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
