you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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