I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
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