ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Drunk is a universal language darling
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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