So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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