Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
