i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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