Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
