this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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