They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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