Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
