never play flip cup with pint glasses
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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