I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
