I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
