We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
