He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
