i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
so let's talk penis.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
