Quick, to the slutcave!
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
