two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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