Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
