It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
