It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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