My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
