I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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