the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
