That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
