I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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