Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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