she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Randomize
