I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize