Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
