I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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