Banned from zoo.
Again?
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
