when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
