He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
