I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Randomize
