like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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