No awkward lesbian experiences without me
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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