Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
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