we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I am one with the molecules
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
