i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
